The dating game is a complicated one with many rules. These rules are often confusing and annoying, but they do exist. Yet most of the time, these rules are necessary for a happy and successful relationship. Of course, the rules aren’t set in stone and every relationship is unique. For simplicity’s sake, there are basic dos and don’ts to any relationship.
When it comes to dating outside your race, the rules differ somewhat. There are different expectations and social standards when it comes to interracial dating. For these reasons, there are also dos and don’ts. Outlined below are some of these dos and don’ts. Bear in mind that these aren’t strict rules, rather just guidelines!
DO accept your partner’s cultural identity
To really be happy, you need to accept everything about your partner. This absolutely includes their racial and ethnic identity. There is no point ignoring the fact that they come from a different cultural background. Rather, embrace it and learn from one another.
DON’T keep it a secret
You really don’t want to make your mixed race dating experience something of a secret. When you talk to people about your partner to friends and families, you should let them know you are dating outside of your race. You don’t have to do this in a judgmental way or make a big point about it. Rather, slip it into the conversation naturally, like “he cooked amazing Indian food from a recipe he learnt from his mother”, or “she was really excited about a poster she saw of a famous African-American person”.
DO share your backgrounds and cultures
Be excited to learn from one another about your cultural upbringings. This can be a really special experience finding out about your partner’s culture. Be inclusive and find ways to combine different customs so that you can share them together. Remember, this should be a two-way street so you both get to experience each other’s rituals and practices.
DON’T date the race
It is a bad idea to date someone just for their race. You want to date the person. It is important to focus on what you like about the person, their characteristics and charm that make them unique. Sure, your interest in their race can be a bonus, but this should be the focal point of your interest for them.
DO share your families with one another
As with any partner, when you are at a comfortable point in your interracial relationship, don’t hide them from your family. Sure, your partner might have different coloured skin to the rest of your family, but they will certainly bring some interesting conversation to the family dinner table. You should feel confident in your affection for your partner to let them be part of your family.
DON’T do it to make a statement
Your relationship is about your individual happiness. It isn’t about a social statement or making a point. Just be happy with your partner, don’t walk around town with them as a racial protest.